Does Your Brain Need More Positivity Theres Hope.

Does Your Brain Need More Positivity Theres Hope. Stinking Thinking. I was introduced to the concept of “Stinking Thinking” (ST), first coined by Dr. Albert Ellis in the 1950s, through the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential. As you might guess, stinking thinking is the stream of negative thoughts that runs through pretty much every human being’s head as they go through life. Last Tuesday, Election Day, I noticed quite a bit of stinking thinking flying around. I wanted to address that in some way, without taking sides, more in the spirit of the speeches Hillary and Donald delivered following the results that created a positive vision for the future. How to Identify Stinking Thinking Here are some categories of stinking thinking, along with an example of each: Overgeneralization: All men are [insert favorite term]! All or Nothing: If I can’t win, I quit. Magnification: I gained 5 pounds. I’m a whale. Cant/Wont: I cant do it! Always/Never: You never take out the garbage. Jumping to Conclusions: He said he was busy this weekend, so he must not want to see me. Mind Reading: She hates me. I know it. Fortune Telling: If Trump wins the election, [insert conclusion here]. Projection: You are all judging me! You must think I’m a total idiot. Prejudice: I could tell he was a thief just by looking at him. Dismissing the Positives: 10 good things happened, but it’s the one bad thing that counts. Magical Thinking: I am sure it will all work out somehow. Helpless/Hopeless: No matter what I do it wont make a difference. Emotional Reasoning: I feel bad, so I must be bad. Should Statements: I should have thought of that. I need to do better. Blame and Shame: Its your fault we can’t pay the bills. Looped Thinking/Obsession/Perseveration: I can’t believe I did that again. What was I thinking? I’m stupid. I can’t believe I did that again. Do any of these sound familiar? I know I’m really great at a lot of these categories, as are most humans. This might be a depressing thought for some (watch your stinking thinking about stinking thinking!) but there are up sides too. What are the positives of stinking thinking? I’m encouraged that once we acknowledge we all have stinky thoughts, we can feel less alone and judgmental of ourselves when we have them. We can watch out for them in ourselves and others, actually noticing them instead of having them run us entirely. And once we realize we’re engaging in ST, we can come up with more fragrant thinking to replace it. What if you were to choose thoughts that are more reflective of what is actually happening, outside of the ST in your head? They would likely be humorous, compassionate or forgiving. For example: Sometimes things go wrong. It’s human. I wonder what he meant by that. Ill ask him. The soup didnt turn out, but the rest of the meal was great. I will keep an open mind. I can do it. I feel upset, but that doesnt make me a bad person. I am excited to learn from this mistake. I can see how this will turn out OK. This second set of possible thoughts leaves a lot more room for possibility, doesn’t it? Pick one… or two… Perhaps there’s an area in your life where you’ve noticed some stinking thinking? Maybe it’s the election, a relationship, your work or career, your family, or even the way someone looked at you when you walked down the street today. Notice the thoughts you’re having, and notice that those are just thoughts. They are not the truth. If you identify the category of thought you’re engaged in then maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to come up with a new thought to replace the stinky one. Regardless of political preferences, I think that’s what our country needs right now. And I’m grateful to all the speech writers and leaders who are focusing on the relationships and future we want. It takes wisdom and vulnerability to move away from stinking thinking, and I’m hoping we can do it. Perhaps thats magical thinking on my part, but I really do believe that this can all turn out OK. Click here for more on the categories of ST. - And here’s a quote that inspired me this week â€" free of odorous thoughts. I’ll leave you with this inspiring message from a wise Buddhist teacher: This is part of the magic of turbulent times: if we feel our tenderness, we will discover our deep strength. This allows for bravery Rather than cower, we have the courage to join with others in responding from the heart and mind of goodness. â€" Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche Save Save Save Save